My Life as a Flag Football Quarterback

Hmmm... interesting weekend. Back to church for the first time in a while. It was... different. Not a real sermon, but just sort of praying and singing and communion for 2 hours. It felt good to be back in church, but at the same time, sort of depressing. I look back and think about the people who I stood shoulder to shoulder with back in the day, the people with whom Proverbs 27:17 and Ecclesiastes 4:12 came to life, and I realized that that time has passed me by. And now church doesn't represent a time for a gathering that invigorates me and pushes me forward to fight for the future, but rather a time of remembering the past, and wishing that the present would be better.

I wonder how this feeling will change. I think that it has to. I don't know what it will take, but I'm slowing it down a little bit this semester. Not in terms of what I'm learning, where I'm going. But in how I'm getting there. I think of it like when I'm playing QB. When I take a good drop back, scan the field, and then set up my body to throw, I am more likely to get off a really strong, accurate pass. The field looks like it's moving in slow motion, and I'm in control of everything. Now, when on the run, it's much harder to complete a pass, becuase everything's moving so fast, and so many things can go wrong.

When I'm in the pocket, all I need to do is to find my receiver, and then step into it. The mechanics take care of themselves. When I'm on the run, not only is it harder to find an open man, after I find the opening, I need to set my feet, square my shoulders, account for the drift on the ball, all before I actually release the ball. It's not easy.

So what does this mean? A few things come to mind.

1) NFL QB's are awesome

2) I need to make sure that if I'm on the run, that I need to make sure that all of the little steps are taken care of.

3) I work better in the pocket, when I can deliberately and methodically check off my options before I really commit and gun the ball in there.

I think that I'll be making church a more regular thing.

-Chairman

Brief Updates

Just a short one this time. The basketball team is still good. The weather is still cold. And I'm still owning my shit.

It's back to the grind this week. Grunt work for my professors and getting some ideas for research going. We're also going to be writing up another journal submission. And classes start up next Tuesday. So, Final Fantasy X-2 is on hold until Spring Break (or maybe even the summer) .

On the down side, I didn't get as much written in the novel as I wanted to, and I didn't get to my nano book at all. And tack on the book that I was wanting to read and two restaurant reviews that need to be written, and I'm a little behind. That's unfortunate, but I'll get on my horse soon enough. I've still got time before things get too crazy.

I need to get my tickets lined up and stuff, but I will be going to St. Petersburg Beach for a conference in February. I have to say that whoever had this idea is a genius. Of course, it would be sort of awesome if I was going down just for a weekend bender, but I'll settle for a conference.

My absolute highlight of the day, week, and possibly year, is that Tilt finally opened up on ESPN. And it was as awesome as promised. There was sex, violence, and gambling. All of my favorite things. I'm already looking forward to getting the series on DVD. All I know is that "The Matador" Don Everest is my idol. And "I need to go relieve myself," is a line that has just entered my rotation. If you see the first episode, you'll know just what I'm saying.

To close - some major props to the lil' bro who finally got a job offer. He won't be making a whole lot of coin, and he'll have to deal with artistic kids. What's that you say? Autistic, not artistic? Oh. That's not so bad, then Also, a little shout out for the fun little MP3 player that he sent out to me. It's nice, despite the fact that my desktop computer hates it, it doesn't have a shuffle mode, and the headphones that came with it were retarded (one of the leads from the earpice was like 6 inches long, while the other one was like 2 feet long). Most importantly? It gets the job done, and it was free.

Until next time... remember that I'm a renegade, never been afraid to say what's on my mind at any given time of day...

-Chairman

Resolutions

Wow. It's been a while. Happy New Year!

I have to say that it was one heck of a December. Stretch run for the first semester in the PhD was brutal, but we survived. Got out my first journal submission in my very short career as an academic. Took a road trip to St. Louis for some Braggin' Rights. Rolled out to Columbus with my boy "Kubla" Curran. Had a TFS reunion in St. Louis at Jess' wedding. And I managed to squeeze in about 80 hours of PS2 action over the last 2 weeks. A pretty full month, really. But really - let the good times roll for 2K5.

The Chairman's List of Things to Do in 2005, in no particular order:
1. Own your shit... whatever the hell that means.
2. Always hit on a soft 17.
3. Get back to looking mean and scary without a shirt on.
4. Really learn to play poker.
5. Play the piano like I could when I was 14.
6. Get the knees and legs back into shape.
7. Read more and veg out less.
8. Finish up my novel, and give Daniel Lawson a story that he deserves.
9. Get my butt in gear and wrap up the Nano project.
10. Figure out what it is that PhD students really do.

I need to figure out all sorts of things as I go along, as well. One of the current theories is the "asshole" theory that the guys are working on. Basically, you act nice and be yourself at first, to get the hooks in. Then you need to alternate being an asshole and doing things that are nice, though progressively less nice as time moves on. Sort of like a drug dealer. The first one's free, and after that you throw in some freebies, but less and less, since you've got a captive audience. Something like pulling out all the stops to romance a girl, and then not calling for a week, and then sending flowers, before not calling for a week, and then taking her out for Arby's, etc... It just sort of dwindles away until you have pretty much a no lose situation. If she stays, whatever. If she goes, then you've pretty much removed any interest that you may have had initially from play. Of course, you can always pick it up again. I think that this may be foolproof, but we should provide the perfect test. My thing is that I usually forget that order - nice, then asshole, then nice, then asshole. I tend to just do the asshole thing all the time, which doesn't seem to do quite as well.

All kidding aside, this recent adventure with TFS revealed a couple things in our lives. We're very good at some things, and not so good at others. What are some of the results? Read on.
One thing that's big on the list right now is just simply owning my shit... whatever that means. I think that it means that you're in control of whatever you do, so that it's always moving forward. You don't let other people dictate what you do. You take care of business so that no one else has anything to say to you. You own your shit. It seems like sound advice to follow.
Looking at my list, it seems that we've got some writing to take care of, in all sorts of different arenas. We've got some physical goals. Some personal goals. But, "Always hit on a soft 17?" What the heck does that mean? No, I'm not going scouring for jail bait. It's very related to owning your shit. In Blackjack, a soft 17 is when you have an Ace and a 6. It can be either a 7 or a 17. 17 is an awfully mediocre hand. You're basically hoping that the dealer busts. If the dealer doesn't bust, then you're at best going to push, and you're likely to lose. Now a soft 17 basically give you a free hit to get that 4 (or 3, or 2). You may end up with a worse hand, if you get like a 9, and get stuck on 16. But really, it is that much worse than 17?

How that makes the list of things to do is that you can't settle. A 17 leaves so much to chance - you need the dealer to bust, otherwise, you're no better off, and likely worse off. How often do we just sort of be mediocre and just hope that the dealer busts? No more of that. I'd rather go down in flames trying for the win than sit there and watch the dealer take me down with 18. Whatever you do, do it well. Dial in and be good at it. If the deck is stacked against you, don't play. If you're in the game, you play for the win. Whether it's in romance, career, academics, athletics, or whatever, go for it. You may find out that you suck, and that it's not for you. That's fine. What's not fine is not finding out if you're any good at it, and just doing it half-assed.

So there you have it. Own your shit... whatever the hell that means, and always hit a soft 17.

Words to live by.

-Chairman