Just a quickie. Earthquakes are sort of cool, if you know that there won't be any damage. I definitely got woken up on Friday morning with a little rumbling outside. And it was sort of cool. I felt it, and immediately thought, "Nice. Earthquake." I assumed/hoped that if the initial earthquake wasn't so bad, then nothing catastrophic was going to happen. And then I did what I do best: went back to sleep.
-Chairman
Some of you may have heard me joke about reasons why I should never be rich. For example, I would enjoy offering people money to do demeaning things. Part of this discussion extends from the poo dollar prank that some of you may be familiar with. For example, would you knowingly pick up a poo dollar? What about a poo five? Ten? Twenty? At what denomination would you pick up currency that had fecal matter on it? That's a fascinating question, and one that I'm sure that hasn't been explored in research. Similarly, I would love to figure out things like how much money it would take for reasonable people to let me dump a gallon of cold clam chowder down their pants. Or to let me push them into a mud filled kiddie pool with all of their clothes on.
Part of this is my fascination with behavioral economics. And part of this is that I love the idea of doing bad things to people with no repercussions.
So, today on the Quad, there were some folks trying to raise money for cancer research, or something like that. What were they offering? Awesomeness for a buck. They had a "Pie a Nerd" booth. They had kids dressed up as nerds, and they would let you shove a paper plate filled with a mound of whipped cream into their faces for $1. Bargain. I have to say, that if they had charged $2, I probably would have still been happy to contribute to cancer research. At $3, you start pushing it. So, needless to say, I was happy with this value.
There were three people working the booth, so I put my $3 on the table and asked to pie each of them. I wasn't going to do anything particularly mean, like yelling "look!" to get them to open their eyes before I pied them. However, I did savor my moment. After they got ready for their pie in the face, I took advantage of the time to just hold it there for a second, just to watch them flinch. This is sort of like asking whether you would prefer to be slapped in the face 10 times right now, or to be slapped in the face 5 times, at random, unknown times. Not knowing when it's coming makes it all worse.
That's not to say that I wasn't paying attention to my technique. First of all, you want to start low, and go upward, at an angle. This helps get the whipped cream into the nostrils. Additionally, if you slow down a bit, you can time it with their breathing. If you time it so that you get them when they inhale, you can get a little extra whipped cream up the nose. I even considered hanging around and just blowing a few more bucks at the pie stand. Sadly, I had to get to office hours. However, I definitely noticed that I had a little extra spring in my step as I was walking toward office hours today.
If you get the chance to pie someone for a relatively low price, you should definitely take them up on it. Trust me. It will brighten up your day.
-Chairman
First of all, I decided that it would be sweet if I added an adult content warning on my blog. Why? Because it's awesome. Also, think about it. What would screw up a kid more. Seeing nipples? I mean, come on. For heaven's sake, in everyday TV we see most of the boobie anyway. Heh. I just said boobie. Anyway, would seeing a nibble be more harmful than being exposed to my ramblings. For example, earlier today I was at the book store, and was just enthralled by:
Rock, chalk, championship.
I'm not sure if that was the best call ever. I suppose it could have been worse, though.
Congrats to Bill Self, for taking it to the next level. I've always been a fan, so like Roy Williams' Jayhawk sticker, I was rooting for Coach to get it done.
As an Illini fan, watching that game was interesting. It was familiar, in a strange way. The Bill Self offense has evolved a bit. Part of it was that stronger guards that Kansas had (remember, Dee and Deron were only freshmen under Self, and Luther was always drifting on D, doing mystifying things, and jacking up outside shots, essentially being Warren before Warren got there), and the non-dominant bigs (you'll also remember that we had Brian Cook out there in the post). So, less of the high-low. More of an emphasis on the perimeter motion. And anytime that happens, you have the risk of going into a lull, offensively, which is what happened to Kansas for about 8 minutes in the 2nd half.
But some things never change.
Right after timeouts, Kansas was superior to Memphis because they had plays coming out of the huddle that worked well. The same was true for in-bounds plays, where Kansas seemed to be more efficient than Memphis. A couple alley-oops. A couple layups. A press that seemed to surprise Memphis that resulted in the 3 that really gave Kansas something to believe in. The net result is that they steal maybe 4 points off of easy buckets off of dead balls. In a close game, those points are huge. This was something that we got used to at Illinois.
I think that's a part of what I've not liked about the Weber regime. For as much talk about FT shooting that we had about the Illini this year, I didn't hear anyone (other than me) complain about how much we surrendered our in-bounds plays... Really, we had 2 plays that tried to run. 3 if you count the high lob toward halfcourt where we give up any chance of attacking. We had the interior lob to Pruitt, which teams caught on to quickly. And then we would run a high screen that we'd send two guards curling off of. The first guard through would be a decoy, and just run through. The second guard would be Trent, who would jack a 3. Sadly, that was our best in-bounds play all year. The thing is, let's say that you're on offense. With about 22 seconds left on the shot clock, the ball gets knocked out of bounds. If you just surrender the play and lob it back toward half-court, you automatically lose 4 seconds, taking you down to 18. It's easy to guard for 18 seconds. It's even easier when the offense doesn't get into an attacking set for another few seconds. Often, you'd see possessions just evaporate when we'd not attack the in-bounds, and then try to set up a sloppy motion attack with 8 seconds left on the clock. If we had better sets off of the in-bounds, and could have turned just 2 of those into easy layups, we would have been a pretty different team. For us, part of it is teamwork...
...which was the other thing that Kansas did beautifully. Most of the time, people will catch on to the notion of team defense. And that's crucial. Just ask Bobby Knight, who refused to answer some mundane question about what player would be the X factor. He said bluntly. Defense will be the X factor. Playing defense isn't just shutting your guy down. It's understanding that it's a team goal. Your head has to be on a swivel, and you have to be ready to help when your teammates get beat. Kansas did a marvelous job of that against both UNC and Memphis. But where teamwork often get overlooked, particularly away from the ball, is on offense. The slow-motion replay of the weakside alley-oop shows that it's not just a guy that's faster, stronger, and jumps higher than his defender. It shows that it's a teammate (in this case, Brandon Rush - their superstar, NBA prospect) setting a great back pick on 2 guys that opens up the entire play. Again, advantage Kansas.
This is in comparison to watching the Illini set screens (and run off them) like little girls afraid of contact. Part of that is the mentality. It looked like we were coached to slip screens, so as to keep the motion faster. That sort of results in a soft mentality on offense, especially when you're down on the blocks. It also makes you easy to guard, since defenses don't have to foul and don't have to run nearly as far as you do (they're jogging around the perimeter of a smaller circle). Teams that impose their will by setting great screens will wear down the other team. Watch the play against Wisconsin where Randle separated his shoulder. That was a great screen that was set by Wisconsin, where the offensive player punished the defender.
All day, Kansas' bigs set nice screens on the ball out high, which forced Memphis' bigs to come high and play defense, opening up the weakside for cuts. Those alley-oops don't happen on accident. Compare that to watching Pruitt come out high for a pseudo screen that our guard doesn't run off of particularly well, and you see why we didn't open up much on offense.
How you win in basketball is by playing defense, boxing out, sharing the ball on offense, and helping your teammates at all times. Everything else falls in place. This is why a group of 5 guys that aren't particularly great individually can show up to the gym and hold court for 2 hours over a bunch of guys that are better, but have never met their teammates before. Kansas looked like the highly skilled version of the former. The Illini often look like a version of the latter. Who's that on? To some extent, the individuals involved. But also the leader. Can this change? Of course. Sometimes things just get away from you. I think that's what happened after those bad home, non-conference losses this year. But changing the culture of the team is harder, after you've let it slip away.
-Chairman
I don't know much, but I do know that I'm proud of some very special and courageous third-graders down in Waycross, Georgia right now. In case you hadn't seen the article, "The Waycross 9" decided that enough was enough, and hatched an elaborate plan to deliver justice on behalf a compatriot who had been publicly shamed. This comes in advance of Swamp Fest in Waycross, evidently an annual festival that is traditionally highlighted by the killing of a local elementary school teacher.
These brilliant young minds, who had obviously watched a number of Law and Order and CSI episodes, devised an ingenious, multifaceted plan that efficiently divided labor. In comparison, the Jena 6 look like a bunch of mouth-breathers, whose plan was to jump a hillbilly and beat him up because he wouldn't let them hang out under a tree. On the other hand, The Waycross 9 plan included: disruption of enemy communications (drawing the blinds closed and putting paper over windows), initial assault (knock her out with a crystal paperweight), follow-up assault (stab with broken steak knife), prisoner security (handcuffs and duct tape), and post-op maintenance (cleaning up afterwards). Unfortunately, this plan was uncovered with Gestapo-like techniques. The ACLU is considering legal action on behalf the Waycross 9, suggesting the their rights to privacy were invaded.
Interestingly, some "experts" doubt that these kids would have succeeded. However, I have full faith in the youth of America. I believe that our children can attain any goal they desire. Other "experts" question whether the kids understood their actions. On the other hand, I fully believe that today's youth is more sophisticated, and has process more information than any other cohort in the history of mankind. Perhaps I am naive, but I am predispositioned toward hope, but our "experts" seem to be in the business of doubt. Additionally, these "experts" have obviously never watched either Lord of the Flies or, more recently, Kid Nation.
It is a travesty of justice that the Jena 6 walk free, while The Waycross 9 may face detention at recess, or even after-school detention. I urge you to call your local congressman, to call Jesse Jackson, and to call Nancy Grace and Oprah, and tell them to get the word out, that the world must know that we must "Free the Waycross 9."
-Chairman
