Getting Youthenized

Okay. I know know that I just said that I had a new favorite commercial. So, I may come off as being a bit flaky when I say that I have a new favorite commercial. But trust me. Given the nature of, well, me... this one makes sense. I mean, where else do you hear anyone detail a political platform based on mandatory euthanasia? And now, Chairman 2020: A Vision for the Future will have a new title sponsor.

"We're gonna youthenize America!"

You're damned right.

All I know is that this really makes me want to get Direct TV. (In particular, check out the Bikini Installation Team - for obvious reasons - and Charge More - "I learned about this in business school, when I read about business school... in a book...")

-Chairman

Hitchin' the Wagon

I haven't really made a big deal of this, because I didn't really think that it was going to go anywhere. But, the Board Room has been undergoing a bit of an expansion the past few month. Specifically, we've been looking to enforce gender-equity in hiring.

I suppose in normal language, you could say that I've been dating a girl for a while now. Just over a year, as a matter of fact. Well, sort of. I wouldn't say that we were dating for the first few months. More, just hanging out and fooling around. Of course, she may disagree.

But in any case, I wasn't really planning on this going anywhere, since I'm a relatively bad person. After all, my major criteria for women are that they're hot, they have low self-esteem, and they're not as smart as I am. And to be honest, my first impression of her was that she was more hot than smart. And to some extent, that's true - I do think that I am a pretty good judge of people, after all. But she turned out to be a little smarter than I thought. But what I like about her is that she's got a good heart, and that she has a sense of humor (after all, if you didn't have a good sense of humor, you probably couldn't put up with my jokes... thank God she doesn't know that I have this blog... no point in testing the limits of her sense of humor).

For about the last 3 months, things have gotten serious. And, last night, I slipped a little something into her drink (no, not a roofie).

Damn blue box. A roofie would have been cheaper. I should have based the 2 month's salary on my grad student salary... not my future salary...

I know that in the past, you may have heard me comment on marriage as utter foolishness. But I suppose that given my recent thoughts on karma, cosmic justice, and being redeemed, this isn't that much of a stretch. In any case, start laughing guys... I'm about to join you suckers a little sooner than I thought I ever would.

So, we haven't set a date, yet, but save the date: we're shooting for Friday, Oct. 1, 2010. That would be 2.5 years, to the day, that we first hung out (or, according to her "dated"). In any case, for anyone interested in seeing more, check out her side of the story.

-Chairman