Project Self: Living the Vision

There are some people that I know who excel at setting long-range visions. They seem to be able to envision what it is that they want, and they go about doing it. I admire their discipline. They seem to be phenomenal at figuring out what it is that they need to do, seemingly moment by moment. Unfortunately, it seems robotic sometimes. I think that these folks will sometimes miss out on some of the journey, and don't always discover everything there is to know about themselves or about the world around them. But they usually end up being pretty successful in whatever it is that they do.

Then there are some people that I know who seem to have no plan, but just take life as it comes. I admire how they see every day as a new adventure. The element of spontaneity, randomness and adventure in their lives seems to be so alluring. They tend to learn a lot about their environment and have a great time doing it, but often end up with no guidance in the big picture.

And of course, there are people who neither embrace every day as an adventure or have long -term visions about life. I don't generally admire these folks as much. They don't seem to have as much fun as they should, nor do they seem to accomplish as much as they should. In fact I would say that these folks don't own their shit. I don't really want to worry about these folks too much. But it's interesting. I sat down to think about life earlier today, and I realized that I don't really do either... but I'd like to think that I own my shit.

Here's what I mean... I think that if you were to ask my friends to describe me, you'd have some folks say that I have a strong long-term vision and I'm pretty dedicated to making these visions happen. After all, I'm getting a PhD, I've got a research program sketched out, and I'll be a professor somewhere in a couple years.

And you'd also have some of my friends think that I'm sort of aimless long-term, but really have a lot of interesting, random experiences. I mean, I can tell you all sorts of stories about how I broke bread with a convicted killer last Saturday, how I've had slushies made with Mexican water and eaten noodles at 1am in random neighborhoods in Shanghai, and about how I've hung out with hitchikers in New Mexico.

I think that where this comes from is what it is that I am moving towards and how I get there. One thing that I think is true about myself is that I am pretty good at medium-range planning. I've never had the true drive to set out after a long-range, mutliple-year goal. And I get bored too easily to keep up most sorts of repetitive tasks. And in the short-term, it's not that I just go out there with reckless abandon. Really, I don't do a lot of planning, really, other than leave my schedule open. I enjoy doing spontaneous things, and will take random detours if it strikes my fancy. But my mid-range goals tend to build on themselves in a way that it looks like I have a long-term goal. And really, I probably do have a long-term goal. I just don't know what it is, yet. I think that I'm just disciplined enough to make my mid-term goals. And I'm just spontaneous enough to do things that a lot of people don't get to experience.

As I think about how I would like to be, I realize that I would like to be just a little more disciplined. Not that I want to be able to achieve more long-term goals. But so that I can more free time to do other fun things. For example, this summer, I have to get a summer paper done. This is a pain in the ass. And I'm going to turn down a summer RA position because I want to dial in on the paper. It would only be 10 hours a week, but I don't want to be burdened. After all, I'd only be making something like $17 an hour. My time is worth a lot more than that. I figure that this will take a dedicated 150 hours to churn this paper out. Really, this can be done in 3 weeks. But what fun would that be? I've got 10 weeks to do it, so I'm going to take 10 weeks. Well, maybe 9.

There's all sorts of other stuff that I'm going to do this summer. Road trips. Hanging out with friends. Learning new cooking techniques. Finishing that damned novel that I've had sitting there for 2 years, and then re-write it. I'm going to learn to ride a motorcycle. And after I learn, I'll get my motorcycle license, and there's a chance that I'll even buy a motorcycle. I want to cruise around for a while, stopping in different towns, finding local eats and local conversation and inspiration for what it is I want to do when I grow up. After all, I'm going to be a professor in a couple years, and may not have the chance to do it then.

-Chairman