Circles

So, I've just kicked off my latest year out here in the cornfields of Illinois. And this time, the first day of class was a little different. Let's just say that the other side of the table is a little more work on the first day. But there were some similarities to my days taking class. I got there a little later than I was planning. I didn't really want to be there, but was curious to see who else was going to be there. I got bored about halfway through class and zoned out. And then I played basketball at IMPE afterwards. I suppose that some things never change.

But there was a little 15 minute stretch after class finished up that things sort of hit me. I realized that I was starting my last year in my 20's. The first day of class had a very different meaning for me this time. I know that I taught this past summer, but this was my first full semester classroom. This means that I'm an adult, sort of. After everyone left, I just sat down in the very familiar classroom. I had taken at least one course in that room back in my days as an engineer. Nondestructive Evaluation, if I recall correctly. I took a seat in the front row, on the very left, where I used to always sit. My logic was that I'd be less likely to doze off if I sat in the front row. Of course, it made it that much more embarrassing when I did doze off. And now, I'm trying to figure out ways to keep my kids from dozing off. It was an interesting experience, just sitting there, remembering what it felt like to be just a student. I think that I was a little sad that the relatively simpler times had gone by.

I wonder if I'm become more sentimental in my old age. Earlier in the summer, I drove through Louisville, KY when it hit me that it was almost a full decade ago when I had my little 8 month co-op stint with General Electric. As I drove by the exits that I still vaguely remembered, I was thinking about all of the great people that I met down there. I have very little clue where most of the folks are. I keep in sporadic touch with some of them. Some of been lost to me, possibly forever. But that was a great time in my life. I lived by myself for those 8 months, and really grew up from that experience. Perhaps most importantly, I discovered that I didn't want to be an engineer when I grew up. But I also learned how to manage a home, how to take care of myself, and how to make friends so as to not die from boredom. I've got another chance to live by myself for the next couple years. It will be nice to recapture some of those old habits. It was fun thinking about the good times I had down in Louisville, as I drove through.

Perhaps what triggered my memories from last week was a visitor that I had come by last Monday. Capt. Matt came through town. He had some paperwork to take care of at the DMV. We went out and goofed around, staying out way too long, and then shot the shit for way too long afterwards. It was a great time, remembering all of the old stories that really helped us define who we've since become. We talked about the old crew that we used to play ball with and hang out with. Perhaps it was fitting that Matt came by. He was my first roommate ever here at school. I suppose that it's right that he was here when I was planning out my first week here as a real teacher.

We had an interesting conversation, just talking about where all of our friends are or will be soon. Matt was getting his Masters with the Air Force, and was going career. Conversations about multi-million dollar budgets and managing multiple levels of subordinates had made their way into our normal conversations, which used to be almost exclusively about sports. We went down the list of everyone who we were friends with - mostly all with nicely developed career arcs, lots of marriages with a handful of kids on the way. It was sort of cool. We took a look a few years down for ourselves. Major Matt, and then probably Lt. Col. Matt, and maybe even Col. Matt by the time he hit his 20 and was looking to retire. On my end, we'd be looking at Dr. and Prof. Chairman soon, as well. Becoming a professor in 2 years. Getting tenure 6 years after that, if I was lucky. Having my own little army of doctoral students and undergrad assistants. It was a fun little indulgence.

Flash forward a couple days to earlier yesterday. I was at our annual kickoff retreat, where we got a nice lunch over at Allerton, and the faculty told us about whatever changes were being put in place this coming year. What was funny was that it felt completely like old hat. It was a far cry from coming into the program 3 years ago, and being completely lost. This time, I got to be embarrassed as during our discussion of RA/TA responsibilities, one of the professors just went on and on about how well I did for her last year. But the intention of the session was to sort of scare the doctoral students by telling us how well-qualified all of the applicants were this year. The professors were talking about how on our CV (curriculum vita = fancy word for resume), we should be allocating 5 lines for the different papers that we were supposed to have published or under review by the time we hit the job market. And the funny part was that my advisor, who was sitting next to me, just starts writing down a list on his notepad:

JMM
JRet
JPPM
JIBS
? - Memory

I looked over, and saw that he was writing down the journals we were publishing in for my 5 lines of the CV. I just laughed, and remembered that I needed to get him the latest version of the Memory paper, so I just wrote down "next week" and circled "Memory." Once we get the last two papers polished enough to send out, I'll have my 5 papers, with at the possibility of 1 or 2 more still on the way this year that were brand new, in addition to my dissertation. It was crazy, but the more I look at it, the more I'm realizing that I actually belong in this field. My dissertation needs work, so do the 2 other projects, and I'm sure that we'll get all sorts of feedback for the pieces under review. But we're getting there.

-Chairman