Selling Out and Marathon Men

Okay. So I've decided to sell out and commercialize this blog. Sort of. I'm using AdSense, which you can see on the right and bottom of the blog. I think that I get like $0.01 each one of my readers clicks on those ads. So, between the 7 readers that I have, assuming that they each click on an ad a week, I will be making $0.07 a week, which works out to roughly $3.65/year. And since they will cut me a check for every $100 I accrue, I should be seeing my first paycheck from my blog in roughly April, 2035.

To quote Dave Chappelle: I'm rich, bitch.

And all of that revenue will be a very nice addition to my warchest for Chairman '36: Run for 1600 Pennsylvania. I think that I've given up on my "Chairman 2020: A Perfect Vision for America" run for the White House. I'm not sure how my "Death Before Dishonor" platform of mandatory euthanasia for the elderly will play then. But by 2036, we'll have had time for the Baby Boomers to thin out a bit, taking away the power of the AARP voting bloc. Also, by that time, maybe we can finally convince Congress to legalize those 12th trimester abortions that I'm in favor of. And my run could be made a little easier if my "Don't Vote - It's Lame" message takes hold. Basically, if I can manage to keep the total score low, and turn the race into a defensive struggle and win 10-7 in overtime, I think that we'll have a good chance.

Let's see what AdSense comes up with for my advertisements, based on that last paragraph. I'm really hoping that it's a message for the Stalin '08 campaign.

But regardless of what I do, it won't be as cool as what's going on in Kenya. Never trust a country who's main export is marathon runners. As usual, the New York Times has excellent coverage and photos:

I went to a riot, and a marathon broke out. I hate running.

There's nothing like just a ho-hum attitude toward genocide.

This fellow was underdressed for the event... NBA All-Star Weekend: Vegas '07, I believe.

“This is how we express our outrage,” explained Evans Muremi, a social worker, who stacked tires to burn while wearing a jacket and tie.

You know, we teach the same thing in our social work program here at the U.

“We’re angry and they’re angry,” said John Maina, a stocky butcher, whose weapon of choice on Saturday was a three-foot table leg with exposed screws. “I don’t see us living together any time soon.”

This guy's seems to be pretty good at this whole stating the obvious at a press conference routine. Seems like Bill Belicheck has a competitor. Maybe he could do a little media consulting. You also have to enjoy any news article that includes the description of someone using a table-leg with exposed screws as a weapon. That sounds like an old-school ECW pay-per-view event. Maybe we could send in Sandman and Tommy Dreamer into Kenya.

This ambitious lad is well on his way to earning his Fire-starting Merit Badge.

Hopefully, there won't be as much outrage when I'm finally POTUS. Or at least, I'll have consolidated military power and be ready to quell the rebellion in a swift manner.

-Chairman