Premonitions

I don't delve much into things like premonitions. Most of this stuff is just bunk. People have all of these predictions, but only remember the ones that come true. Then they believe that they have ESP or something. Mainly, when you get into premonitions, the lesson that you learn is that people are generally idiots.

Anyway, it wasn't so much a premonition, as an eerie daydream, once I had time to put things back into context. It happened on Thursday morning. First of all, most of you are wondering, "what were you doing being awake before noon?" And that's a very valid question. But I have an excuse. I had to proctor an exam in the morning over in Foellinger, the big, 1500 person lecture hall/auditorium on campus. So, I'm standing there before the exam starts up. Mainly, I was just cranky and tired because I was awake about 4 hours earlier than I was accustomed to, and moreover, I was in some lecture hall with 800 kids taking an exam.

So, my mind wandered off, and I started thinking about what I wanted to do for breakfast after we got done with the exam, and I decided on pancakes at OHOP. Probably the tasty Apple Pancake, or maybe just the Dutch Baby. And some sausage. And coffee. It was going to be wonderful. Then my mind took the next natural step. I started thinking about how this would be the opportune time for some armed psychopath to storm in and start shooting. Early in the morning. 800 students packed into the lower tier of the lecture hall. Of course, I was imagining the shooter coming in through the entrance, and coming down the aisles. So, I thought about how I'd react. My plan was to slide up on the stage, and exit stage left. Make a phone call to 911, and then find some weapons to go back in there and get the shooter.

The plan was to find a couple objects that I could throw with accuracy, and then come back into the auditorium from an entrance where the shooter couldn't see. The plan was to try to bean him with one of the heavy objects. You know, the usual head shot from 50 feet. But to also close in, in case I missed. Then I would take him out with a pen to the jugular vein.

It probably wasn't the best plan in the world. I needed to have a couple baseballs in my bag, as well as a buck knife (rather than some pen). And even then, it would be sort of a brick of a plan. But that's what went through my mind.

I laughed at myself. Clearly, I'm a moron. I snapped out of it, and finished proctoring the exam, and then skipped out on the pancakes (huge mistake - they would have been wonderful). I just went to the coffee shop and got some work done, and then went home and took a nap so I could catch up on the sleep I had missed.

Later that afternoon, I read about the NIU incident. And then we found out that it was actually of U. of I. grad student.

Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to pack those baseballs and that buck knife in my bag from now on.

-Chairman