Stranger Than Truth

I'm starting to get a little skeptical about the New York Times, which has been my go-to source for news ever since I got an HD television and my cable didn't carry the Colbert Report in HD. But apparently, they're a little late with their latest April Fool's hoax. Apparently they're trying to sell us on this idea that there's some rebellion going on in Kyrgyzstan. They've even gone so far as to create a fake Wikipedia page that lists Bishkek as the capital of Kyrgyzstan. That's dedication to the hoax. They've even managed to put in all sorts of awesome photos, which of course, I love.

Apparently, this is the flag of Kyrgyzstan... Pat, I'd like to buy a vowel, please... any vowel.

I will say, that this is quite a strong attempt by the NYT. They've even got "photos" of the protests in "Bishkek."

Apparently this is "Bishkek." Who'd believe that Bishkek is the capital of an actual country?

What's interesting is that the alleged protests in this alleged country are allegedly getting quite heated. En feugo, as a matter of fact (with apologies to Dan Patrick).

More alleged political protests and fire. They go together like PB & J.

Okay. You caught me. I slipped that last one in there. If you look at the top left, there's some private school putz wearing a Bobby Hurley jersey, so you can probably figure out that this was the scene in Durham after Duke survived one last game. But still. There is fire out in Bishkek.

Watch out for old dudes. This one just set a truck on fire, and now he's looking for a fist fight.

And I have to say, is that the level of satire that the NYT is demonstrating is strong. And to be able to keep up a story? Awesome. Check out these excerpts:

On Wednesday, the Kyrgyz government accused the opposition of provoking violence. “Their goal is to create instability and confrontation in society,” the Kyrgyz Parliament said in a statement... Russia, which also has military facilities in Kyrgyzstan and a close relationship with the government, appealed for calm. “We believe that it is important that under the circumstances, all current issues should be resolved in a lawful manner,” the Russian Foreign Ministry said... Mr. Bakiyev easily won another term as president as president last year over Mr. Atambaev in an election that independent monitors said was tainted by massive fraud. Mr. Bakiyev first took office in 2005 after the Tulip Revolution, the third in what was seen at the time as a series of so-called color revolutions that offered hope of more democratic governments in former Soviet republics.

Krygyz Parliament? The Tulip Revolution? Bakiyev? Atambaev? This is straight out of an episode of Star Trek! Great stuff. But again, it's all about the photos. They make this one of the best belated April Fool's hoaxes ever.

We're holding tiny, toy guns! April Fool's!

Now, let's be honest, what's better than an April Fool's hoax where you have photos of these pudgy, middle-aged men pretending to be cops? And when they start in on rock throwing? I just lose it. Love rock throwing, mainly the absurdity of it.

There's just something about rock throwing that we love here in the Board Room.

The ceremonial first rock thrown on Opening Day in Bishkek.

Opening day is Commemorative Riot Shield and Bazookas Night!

Get there early! Only the first 10,000 in attendance will receive the gifts.

But what really gets me is police brutality, both the giving and receiving of it. After all, sometimes, you get the cops...

Admit it. You've dreamed about this sort of thing after getting a parking ticket.

... and sometimes, the cops get you.

How do you say "Rodney King" in Kyrgyz?

This is what my people call "Hakuna Matata," or the "Circle of Life."

All I can say is props to the folks at the NYT for having a sense of humor and the getting the photos to match.

-Chairman