Even Vegas Won't Take These Odds

So life is amusing. TFS wedding #2 of the month is coming up this weekend. I'm heading up on Wednesday night to crash with Curran. We'll have a day in Milwaukee on Thursday, and maybe get the tuxedo taken care of. Friday will be the rehearsal. I think that the plan is to play some full-court ball at the church after the rehearsal dinner. Nothing like running up and down a basketball court at full speed right after eating enough at a steakhouse to feed a small country for a month. If we all survive the projectile vomiting, and assuming that we're welcome back in the church, Saturday will be the big day for C-Lauff.

Which leads us to the next question: who will win the TFS OG Survivor Challenge. I think that we're down to just me, Mikey, and Curran. The rest of the initial TFS crew will have been married off (the later crop of True, Brian, Mark, and JK don't count). Right now, me and Mikey have a bet on who wins the Survivor Challenge. The loser of the bet has to put $200 worth of stuff on their wedding registry for the winner. While we could make this actually worthwhile ($200 will get you some decent stuff), I think that this leads to all sorts of potential fun. For example, imagine Mikey having to explain to his fiancee why there are 4 cases of instutional sized cans of tapioca pudding on the registry. Or 45 large tubs of generic petroleum jelly. Or two goalie masks, 4 tiki torches, and 50 pounds of ground chuck.

Of course, the problem is how do we also incorporate Curran into this. Maybe the first one to get married has to put $100 worth of stuff on his registry for each of the 2 finalsts, while the ultimate winner gets to put $300 worth of stuff on the 2nd place finisher's registry?
But more importantly, how do you handicap something like this for the betting public? Here's the details. We're currently all in grad school. Curran finishes up at his JD at Baylor in a year and a half and will become a lawyer. Mikey finishes up his doctorate in psychology in 3 years and will be in the head-shrinking business. I finish up my PhD in 3 years and will be a marketing professor. We're all sharp. We've all got serious earning potential. We all come from normal families. We're all reasonably good looking and generally very funny. And we're all generally pretty cool. But if we weren't quirky, we wouldn't be having this discussion.

Basically, I'm an asshole. If something doesn't really fit into my view of how things should be, I more or less ignore it. I also get bored very easily, and when I get bored, I just wander off and do something that doesn't bore me. Apparently, women don't like to think that they're boring and wrong, and when I just wander off to stare at shiny objects, they think that I'm an asshole. Which is generally accurate. Another thing that I have going against me is that I'm getting too old to be hitting on undergrads at the bars. There's not really a 20-something scene in this very college town, so that's a bummer. But on the bright side, I'm the only one of the three that hadn't been on meds. Unfortunately. Me and OD have discovered the joys of doing Happy Shots (basically chasing whatever shot you think is appropriate - we went with Kahlua and Irish Cream - with a Zoloft). Not quite the buzz of going with the Vicodin Shooter, but makes you just want to grin like a Cheshire Cat.

Curran is extremely picky with girls once he's into a relationship. I mean, so are me and Mikey, but we're very picky before the relationship starts. But Curran is a little different from us and goes a little further, possibly to the point of neuroticism. He's willing to try out a lot of girls. Curran's got this great ability to have no memory. He's like a good jump shooter who's not afraid to miss. He can get on a hot streak, and even if he's missed 6 in a row, he's convinced that the next one's good. He's into breaking hearts by pursuing a girl, convincing her that he's the one, and then abruptly deciding that she isn't the one (this is where he gets picky, for reasons that may or may not be reasonable), and then ending things quickly and not looking back. While this makes for great stories for us, this doesn't always work out so well for the girl. Of course, none of these girls have stalked or tried to shoot Curran, so he's got something going for him.

Mikey... well, Mikey is the one that becomes obsessive with women. Everything needs to be perfect for him to even consider a move. He likes to look into things way to much. Like the number that a girl's Abercrombie & Fitch shirt is. If it's 20? Forget about it. He's hooked. If he talks to a girl while a 20 mph Speed Limit sign is around? It's fate. Which it may be. But the problem is that if it's not, Mikey gets really caught up into it, which basically derails him from the rest of the world for way too long. The thing with Mikey is that if he's in a relaxed situation, he's money. If he gets all caught up in it, he's done. He's also a bit of a home-body, so doesn't really put himself in the best position.

Curran's got the most quantity, takes the most shots. Mikey doesn't pull the trigger unless it's perfect. And I'm a moron. I think that it comes down to which of us is willing to lower our expectations. I think that alcohol will also play a major role in this battle. It's like the little star in Super Mario Brothers where you're invincible for 12 seconds. Of course, you can still fall into a bottomless pit when you're invincible, but you're also impervious to all of the rest.
Anyway, anyone who has some odds for me to post, I'll put them up.

Until next time.

-Chairman