So Where's the Honeymoon?

Well, I figured out where I'm getting married. For the longest time, I thought that it was going to be Vegas. Or Thailand. But I've got a new location in mind. Montana. Check this article out.

It's amazing. You don't even have to be there. It'll be so much cheaper that way, and much less boring/infuriating than planning and attending my own wedding.

On the other hand, I may move out to Montana so that I can apply for a job as a judge in Montana.

Conversely, we can make some real money if we can get enough people to establish residency in Montana, we can start a heck of a business selling citizenship. I mean, why risk your lives on some silly raft with no engine? Why risk a false identity that may get you in trouble with Homeland Security? Why worry about quotas that are placed on immigrants?

For only $15,000, you can marry a U.S. citizen by proxy and enjoy all of the benefits of citizenship. Come into the country at your leisure. Don't have $15,000? No worries. We have the Indentured Servant Payment Plan, where you can still become a citizen, and have a small (okay, moderate) percentage of your paycheck garnished for the foreseeable future.

What do you guys think? Anyone want to invest in my new venture? Where the heck is Montana, anyway?

-Chairman