My Dirty Little Secret

I have a secret.

Not only did I vote, but I enjoyed it so much that I was chuckling as I filled in my ballot.

Was it because I was making history, like I alluded to in my last post?

Nope.

It was because they actually had write-in votes for president. Sadly, they didn't have write-in votes for any of the other positions. But let's just say that I garnered a little momentum in my 2020 presidential campaign. And I would have finished third in the race for congressman, if they would have allowed write-in votes there.

So now that I've let you in on the secret that I voted myself for POTUS, I'm sure that many of you are asking who I had as my running mate on my ballot. Only the most qualified candidate, possible.

Sabre-toothed Cougar.

Chairman and Palin in 2008.

Of course, this is symbolic in nature, since there was no chance that I was winning this time around. But it foreshadows my choice in 2020. By that time Sarah Palin will be old news. But you know who will be right in the public's eye? Here's a hint: Bristol.

Yep. The pregnant, unwed teen daughter of Caribou Barbie. Bristol Palin. Now, some of you naysayers may say that she'll only be like 29 at that point, or offer some equally inane rebuttal. All I have to say is that as someone who has never been a Washington insider, I don't acknowledge the bureaucratic red-tape (i.e., the Constitution) that has bogged this country down for so long.

So it was with this forward-thinking mindset that I was chuckling as I cast my vote in this year's election. For myself. So not only was this the first vote for the future POTUS, this was also a historic vote against the first black POTUS.

That's what we call a full day's work.

And now I know why people are so big on voting.

-Chairman