Checking It Twice

As I think about Christmas, I'm in the mood to make lists. Santa has his Naughty/Nice list. We've got our list of New Year's Resolutions (well, not everyone). TMobile has it's Fave 5 List. Dick Vitale has his PTP'er and All-Rolls Royce Teams. Most of my readership knows that I find Christmas to be overrated, particularly from a religious context. But what about from a secular stand point? I'm actually OK with the Christmas season - it's like watching the shit show. You just sit back and watch, and enjoy the unending stupidity of man. But are there some parts that I'm not really a fan of? Of course.

So without any further ado, my Holiday Season Overrated/Underrated lists.

Christmas Shopping
Overrated: Standing in line at 2am to be first to go nuts on Black Friday.
Underrated: Hitting clearance racks after Christmas.

Christmas Present
Overrated: Cars. Really. Who buys his and hers Lexuses for Christmas? Douchebags.
Underrated: Books. People don't read enough anymore.

Christmas Cookie
Overrated: Anything with too much lousy, colored icing.
Underrated: Simple shortbread, butter cookies.

Christmas Eve Tradition
Overrated: Leaving cookies for Santa Claus.
Underrated: Midnight Mass, followed by eating all of Santa's cookies.

Christmas Church Service Music
Overrated: Bells. Pretty lame.
Underrated: Strings. Particularly harps. But violins work.

Drink to Accompany Cookies:
Overrated: Milk
Underrated: Bourbon, rocks.

Morning Tradition
Overrated: Waking up at the crack of dawn to open presents.
Underrated: Waking at the crack of noon to use the bathroom, and the promptly going back to bed.

Holiday TV Programming
Overrated: A Christmas Story. Not as funny as everyone thinks. Lame.
Underrated: Big time NBA matchups. Shaq vs. Timmy, Kobe vs. the Celtics, and LeBron vs... vs... uh? The Wiz? (well, you can't have them all, I suppose)

Christmas Meat
Overrated: None. All meat is wonderful.
Underrated: Rack of lamb. It's really pricey, even when you make it yourself. But boy, is it good.

Christmas Poultry
Overrated: Turducken. Keep it a Thanksgiving thing.
Underrated: Goose and Duck. Old school and underutilized.

Christmas Side Dish
Overrated: Candied yams. Generally, too cloyingly sweet, and the marshmallows are normally mediocre.
Underrated: Ham. Some may say that it's a protein, and thus a main dish. I think that anytime that you can squeeze more smoked pork in a meal, you're obligated to do so. Failing that, roasted chestnuts.

Christmas Ham Preparation
Overrated: Pre-glazed, spiral-sliced.
Underrated: Scoring the ham and making your own glaze (mustard, citrus, berry, honey, spices, and sugar).

Christmas Drink
Overrated: Store-bought egg nog.
Underrated: Homemade egg nog. With bourbon.

Christmas Dessert
Overrated: Nothing, really. But I'm not super fond of anything store-bought.
Underrated: Roasted pears. With bourbon glaze, and good vanilla ice cream.

New Year's Eve Event
Overrated: Non-exclusive, all-inclusive buffet/open bar events. Food's lousy, lines at the bar are long, you're getting free well drinks, and you're generally surrounded by the dregs of the earth.
Underrated: Going out to a good dinner, and then hitting a party with a smartly chosen wet bar.

Anyway, here's to the things that make the Christmas season what it is, for better or worse. The Board Room wishes the best to you and yours. We'll catch you guys soon.

-Chairman