Let My People Go

If one believes what they read in Exodus, approximately 3400 years ago, there was a little conflict in Egypt, where some of the working class decided that they were tired of the ruling class and the status quo. The workers wanted to to change things up, and tried to do it somewhat peacefully. The story goes that a bunch of plagues hit Egypt, and then the workers are freed. Only the ruler then changes his mind, and tries to run them down with guys on horses and camels. The workers escape by parting the Red Sea, and when the guys are horses and camels try to follow, they get engulfed by the sea. So, the workers win... sort of. They then get lost in the desert, and manage to turn a 2-week trip into a 40-year stretch of confusion where they manage to offend their deity in a variety of ways, get a whole bunch of themselves killed off, and have their leader die just before they make it to Walley World (or wherever it was they were headed). Let's be honest, the leadership was a little lacking. The modern comparison is Gilligan's Island, where in 1964 a boat full of idiots turn a 3-hour tour into 3-years of desolation, only to be forgotten entirely until they're finally rescued in 1978. But that's a bit tangential.

Sort of moving back on track, the point is that we've got ourselves another little rebellion out in Egypt. I don't really want to get into things like who's protesting, why they're protesting, or anything like that. Don't get me wrong, it's fascinating when you think about people's motivations, their likes/dislikes, and their political beliefs. But I don't know a thing about that. But it's sort of cool when you see some very different perceptions.

Okay, burning = bad, and Jewish = bad. This is anti-Mubarak. Check.

Next, Hitler = Anti-Jewish =... um, Bad? Like Barbie says, "Math is hard." Maybe this is pro-Mubarak?

And as interesting as that line of thought could be, that's not that I'm really amused at. What I'm really getting at is how they're protesting. And more amusingly, the technologies employed. When you read about the level of technology that the protesters are using, you see a stark contrast. On one hand, they're employing modern tools, like social media for organization and disruption of government websites.

They forgot to add "rocks" to their shopping list.

On the other hand, when you read about the direct conflict resolution on the New York Times, it sounds like they're getting ready for an extreme backyard wrestling match. I mean seriously:

"One man washed his pliers in a pool of dirty sewage before charging into a battle. Another man held a club wrapped in electrical tape and studded with tacks."

That's awesome. Sounds like the first guy is using some terrible pro wrestling gimmick like a deranged dentist, and that the second guy sounds like he is ready to get hit with a frying pan-aided flying elbow off of the top rope. But it gets better. Not to be stereotypical, but there was definitely some rock throwing going on (which I'm totally on board with). Unless you throw like a girl:

The Egyptian Johnny Damon is about to under-throw the cutoff man.

But then they ran out of rocks.

"Abandoning any attempt to avoid violence, thousands of anti-Mubarak protesters used scraps of steel to rip up the pavement into pieces, carrying them in milk crates and scarves to hurl back at their attackers."

Really? How poorly planned out is this shindig that you have to dig up the roads so that you can hurl chunks of concrete? How can you run out of rocks at a rock-throwing party? Monkeys throwing crap may have better planning. But what's amazing is that somehow, all these years of technology have definitely not translated into much in terms of practical protesting out in Egypt. Let's see that list of items at the armory... Rocks? Check.

The ammunition stockpile is running a bit low. However, faith is running high. Which is admirable.

Shields? Check. Sort of.

He's making a shield. Out of the lid of a can. Seriously.

At least these guys have shutters for shields.

Helmets? Check. I guess.

They're wearing buckets and trashcans on their heads. Must have ran out of lampshades.

I'm guessing that Pharoah's little army that got swept into the Red Sea was a little better equipped... but let's not be too harsh on the protesters. The pro-Mubarak supporters aren't exactly busting out the high tech weaponry, either. They're a little more mobile, since they have camels, according to the good folks at the DailyMail out in the UK. Again, I'm not busting out stereotypes. I'm just saying what I'm hearing. Camels. But when you're riding in on the camel cavalry, you'll be able to trample a couple protesters on your way in. So that's good.

Game 1: Dude on Camel With a Stick - 1. Photographer - 0.

I mean, how awesome is that? The problem is that when you have that a lot of people standing around and angry, and only a few people with camels charging into crowds, you can scatter the crowd for a second. But then you get surrounded. And beaten senseless. Much like running out of rocks, at a rock-throwing party, this is also poor planning.

Game 2: Angry Mob - 1. Dude on Camel With a Stick - 0.

I imagine that this is also why you should never get involved in a land war in China. Unless you have a lot more camels. In any case, I'll be honest - I don't know Hosni Mubarak from the next guy, and I know next to nothing about Egypt. I don't have a clue as to what the big picture, long-term game looks like. But what I am loving is the rock throwing and the camels. And if you think a little more about this sort of thing, you may have to think about things like civil war, patriotism, the nature of democracy, what happens when the majority of another nation disagrees with what your country believes, the influence of technology on various facets of life. For example, for having a protest with hundreds of thousands or people out there, with the military not really being involved, and the lack of firepower being used, we haven't really had a lot of deaths (so far, only 5 reported deaths - one short of the 6 killed in Tucson by one dude with a semi-automatic handgun and a high-capacity magazine).

But I'm not inclined to think too much. Really, this is just an excuse for me to find cool photos online and to write amusing captions... and I hear that there's going to be some good stuff happening in Sudan soon.

-Chairman

Update: Apparently, I'm confusing myself reading this stuff. Some reports say that there are at least 10 confirmed deaths since the start of the fighting between the protesters and the pro-Mubarak group. But there are over 300 reported deaths since the start of the protests. In any case, it seems that the deaths after fighting are all from gunfire (and not from the camel-riding stick-wielders or the rock throwers).