SC: The Adventure Continues

Today, I got a little exercise in. Took another quick 15 minute jog/walk around my folks’ place. I’m still having some issues with running for distance, so I’m still doing the “run until it hurts and then walk until it doesn’t hurt anymore and then run again” routine. After that I went over to the pool and the sand courts. I worked a few side-to-sides in the sand to try to build up a little lateral strength in the legs. It was ugly, but I got through a few. And since it was like 95 degrees today, I went right over to the pool for a few laps and some leg work (kicking against the wall).

Out at the pool, I was hoping for a little eye candy as I worked my laps, but there was no luck. I think that only old folks and families with young kids live in this subdivision. But, I will have to say this much. As I walked around downtown Greenville last night and out at the mall this afternoon, I have to say that compared to the Midwest (like Chicago or Champaign), that the girls in the south have to rate on average a point higher. When you walk around, you see 6’s or better all over the place.

Welcome to the Rating Game.

A quick aside on “the scale,” which I don’t believe that we’ve discussed: I like to use a modified bell-curve type rating system. The 4.0-6.0 range is the most common, with about 50% of the population falling in this range. Since we’re not trying to actively hurt feelings (though we do accept that there will be some level of casualties), we’ll only describe the upside of the scale. Overall, we’re left with 25% of the population that rates from 6.0 to 10. Next comes the 6.0-8.0 range. This range goes to about the 95th percentile. A lot of very attractive women fall into this range. If I were to get serious with a gal who was a “solid 7” I would be more than happy. After that, you move from 8.0 to 9.0. Another 4% or so of the population is covered here. After that, the remaining 1% falls into the 9.0 to 10 range.

This is a fairly different scale than most people use. Most guys that I’ve talked to claim to use a more linear approach, where the points match up with the percentiles. I don’t personally believe that if they were to track their scoring, that what they claim would indeed be true. That implies that there are as many people who rate 9 to 10 as there are who rate 5 to 6. Of course, whenever girls have the misfortune of stumbling in on one of my discussions about how attractive someone is, they’re often disgusted at how low the scores are that I give, at which point I try to defend my scale, to no avail. They’re used to having attractive girls (remember, 7 on my scale is attractive, maybe 87th percentile?) scored as “10’s” and they consider 7’s to be mediocre. It’s just a marketing issue. It’s strange. I think that girls use another, completely different scale to rate girls. Their scales generally cover 0 to 2, and then jump to 7-10, leaving out the crucial 4 to 6 range. There are some other girls that are either disgusting to them or they just hate. They get the low scores. After that, everyone that they like, regardless of appearance, garners at least a 7. You hear things like, “she’s gorgeous.” Then, you expect this gorgeous gal to be at least an 8.5. But then you see them, and they’re maybe a 6, which wouldn’t be bad, if not for the false expectations that had been set earlier.

Now, the actual scores assigned are very subjective. For example, my old roommate Matt is definitely into white meat, regardless of race. For you vegetarians out there who don’t eat chicken, you can read that last sentence as, “Matt likes boobs.” So, a gal with a larger chest automatically gets a higher rating, no matter how else she’s put together. Another example would be that CJ likes redheads. If you have red hair, you automatically get a bump. I find that having a pretty face is more important than a perfect body, so anyone who plays for the Cincinnati Bengals (you know, cool uniform, ugly helmet) automatically gets a penalty of at least 2 points.

One way that we’ve worked around this is by assigning different scores to the face and body. So someone who’s got a great body (big chest, tight abs, little waist, nice ass and great legs) but has a beak, a lazy eye, and bad teeth would get a scores like, “Well, she’s awesome, maybe a 8.5 body, but a deuce on the face.” Of course, the follow up comment would be something like, “But that’s no problem. Just flip her around and make her bark.”

Then there’s the whole personality thing. As you take into account how someone dresses, you incorporate some of their personality already. If you’re not into goth chicks, you’ll automatically dock a point or two from anyone dressed like that. Personally, I don’t think that you should factor that into the score directly. Personality is a whole different beast, and one that we don’t touch on when we play the rating game. That is one reason why we generally don’t play the rating game with girls that we know. If these proprietary documents ever got out, none of our female friends would ever speak to us again. It sort of defeats the purpose of why you’re friends with people – because you get along well and like similar things. Okay. Sometimes, we become friends with girls because they have hot friends. But that’s a different story altogether.

So long story short: my scale is more of a bell-curve type scale, and therefore it’s easy to score in the 4.0 – 6.0 range, but it’s hard to score higher. So my scale has been established from the girls that I’ve known back in Albany, NY and out at Illinois. I’ve got a decent idea of what a 5 is. That’s average. So walking out and about, I’m looking around, and I’m finding that more than half of the girls that I’m walking by are rating higher than 5. I’m guessing that the average here bumps out to like a 5.7 or something on my scale. Of course, there could very well be a difference in sample size – I’m probably going to end up in places where the average is just higher, but not representative of the region. Which is no good for stats, but is just fine for me.

Youth is Wasted on the Young.

Of course, just because you’re a 7 or better doesn’t mean that you’re interesting. I’m out in Nashville the other night, and I head to Demo’s (a great place to eat, actually – probably going to get a write up over on foodgeek later). I’m there by myself, just waiting for my table, when three very attractive young ladies walk in. They couldn’t have been more than 22 years old. Probably around 20 if I had to guess. All dolled up in black and white dresses that you would see at a semi-formal (or even a formal) dance. All had nice tans, nice bodies, and were at least reasonably cute. They end up getting seated diagonally from me. Right behind me were two older couples, probably in their mid-50’s. Guess which table had the more interesting conversation? That’s right. Mine. But the old folks were a close second. The conversation was non-stop behind me, talking about kids, friends, whatever. I don’t know if the girls across from me even said 3 words to each other. They just looked bored out of their minds, and actually started digging for their cell phones to call up other people. I don’t know. I’m sure that when I was 21, I was a moron, but still… all dressed up, out with friends, and you have to resort to the cell phone? Depressing, to me, at least.

I’m at Least a 6.

So I’m wandering around the mall today. I walk by this kiosk, and all I see are photographs with no frames. I was curious to see what they were selling – celebrity photos, maybe? Autographs? So, I did a little double-take as I walked by. It was actually a talent/modeling scouting service. The gal working there smiles at me, and asks me something like (in all seriousness), “are you interested in modeling?” I think that I laughed out loud. While I certainly am ruggedly handsome and incredibly attractive to women (*wait for laughter to die down*), I had never had anyone ask me if I wanted to try to be a model. I said to her, “No, I don’t think that I’ve got the build to be a model.” She was a persistent one. “Well, we also are looking for commercial models.” Not that I had a clue what that meant. “No, really, I don’t think I’m what you’re looking for.” Of course, I was just wearing gym shorts, a basketball jersey and a baseball cap, so she looks across the arms and chest and goes, “We also look for fitness models.” I couldn’t help but laugh again and thanked her, but politely declined and kept wandering around the mall. If anyone saw me try to run earlier, they’d never confuse me with a fitness model.

But you know what? As surreal as that conversation was, it was flattering. So I think that means that I’m at least above average looking. Maybe even good looking? Hey, I’d settle for, “not unattractive” or “I’ve seen uglier.” All my life, I figured that my winning ticket was going to come from my brains, my charm, and my wit. Or possibly my brute strength. But now? All bets are off. Watch out, world. I may just use my stunning good looks instead.

Well, I think that I’m going to head back to downtown Greenville to continue my tour of the city. We’ll see what tonight brings. Maybe I’ll go meet girls and tell them that I’m a fitness model and see if that doesn’t get me some action.

-Chairman