Finding the Roots

So, I've spent the last few days back in the northeast. Worcester, MA, to be more specific, home of Holy Cross and more importantly, former stomping grounds of ESPN Page 2's Sports Guy, Bill Simmons. And I can't help but wonder why it is that people in the Midwest always think that people from the Northeast are rude. I have a suspicion that it's the same reason that they think that blacks are violent and that Mexicans are lazy. Because it's true... wait. That's not what I meant to say. I meant to say that it's because stereotypes are easy.

But I have an issue with how people from Philly, New York, Boston, etc. are considered to be rude. I think that it's a cultural thing, and that at the heart of it, it's not that they're rude, but that they have a different style than the people in the Midwest. Here's the example that I heard once, and like to use. There's a tourist in line trying to buy a train ticket in the morning. They wait their turn, and when they get up to the front of the line, they ask the clerk which lines run where, and how much they cost. Then two people in the back of the line yell out, "hey, let's move it already!" or "c'mon, we a'int got all day!" The tourist concludes that the locals are just rude loudmouths, and returns home with a story to tell.

But the problem isn't that the locals are rude. It's that the tourist didn't understand the local custom. In the northeast, things tend to move fast. You've got a line full of people, just about all of whom would be more than happy to answer the tourist's question while they were waiting. Instead, the tourist, keeps to himself, and waits to ask the question, with the end result being that everyone in line has to wait an extra 2 minutes. And they let them know about it. In New York, you have a culture where there are newsstands where some of the regulars can just walk by, grab a paper, leave cash on one end of the counter, and pick up their change at the end of the counter without ever breaking stride, with the only exchange being, "Thanks." "Welcome." People have things to do, places to be.

But I think that it's more than that. In the Northeast, things are crowded. Cities grew up on themselves in a pretty haphazard way. It's not the nice, clean grid that you'll find in a lot of the Midwestern and Western cities. As you get more space, people want to carve out a little niche for themselves. They want their little piece of paradise that's away from everyone else. And when you're in the Midwest and West, you can do that. It's a little harder in the Northeast. But as you get your space, you also get more independent. Things need to be done on your schedule, your way. And when you run into something that's different, well, your view is turned on its head, and you don't know how to react. Which makes sense. You adapt to your environment.

If you're growing up in the suburbs, there aren't as many people who are normally on a given block. You recognize them instantly. So, you don't talk to strangers. Because there's a reasonable likelihood that they're serial killers who rape coprses. But in a city block, with all sorts of high rises and businesses, you are bound to have a ton of strangers. The likelihood that they're corpse raping, serial killers diminishes immensely. It's much more likely that they live or work there. So talking to strangers is a much more reasonable scenario.

That's where the disjoint lies. I think that people in the Northeast, by virtue of their proximity to one another, are more interdependent. They rely on each other more, and the things that they do end up being that way. People in the Midwest... well, they try to figure stuff out on their own, end up being more independent. After all, that's the Protestant work ethic, isn't it? These styles and cultures clash. Folks from the Northeast are rude. Folks from the Midwest are rubes.

All I know is that I'm thankful that I'm not like that. Not like those ignorant Midwesterners or those assholes from the Northeast.

-Chairman