A Natural High is Still a High

It may just be the heroin talking, but I feel like Brett Farve after 4 beers and a couple Vicodin.

The knees are feeling pretty good, and I've been putting in some bike work everytime I hit the gym, so hopefully, the stabilizers are working, too. So naturally, I'm about to ruin all of that by playing hoops again. Because I'm an idiot. Actually, I've got a tentative plan to get myself back onto the basketball court, and so far, part I is working out well. Basically, I just need to follow some fundamental rules, and I think that I'll be fine. The first one is that I need to cap it off at 2 games each session for the time being. Maybe in a couple months, I can bump it up to 3 and further, but for now, I need to keep it in place. Similarly, I'm going to make sure that I have a minimum of 2 days rest before anything strenuous.

Last week, I ran one (and only one) game. Couldn't cut, was out of breath, couldn't jump, but was shooting lights out. In a pick up game where I had 2 black holes running 1 and 2, I managed 3 points on 4 shots. A nice baseline 10 footer, a nice pullup from 15 where I went from the wing to the free throw line off the dribble, and another nice pullup from 19 going left off of a screen over lazy defenders. Not a ton of lift, but enough to get the shot in. Incidentally, the one shot I missed was from 4 feet, after I put on a beautiful headfake on a pogo stick defender. Left it short because I jumped about 8" off the ground. Oh well.

Earlier today, I ran one game. Actually, I finished off a game for a guy who got hurt, and then ran the game after that. Took one shot, a missed layup, but I played good, and felt great. Ran point, moved the ball, made nice passes, played real smart offense. Actually pushed a couple breaks, and felt good controlling the floor in the halfcourt. Moved okay on defense, was guarding someone who wasn't going to beat me off the dribble, but kept moving, so I got to move the legs a bit. Boxed OK, though I wasn't particularly aggressive in getting the ball. All in all, it's a first step. I need to get back to playing with some players who are a little better so that I can get back to doing more things, and not just shuffle the ball around. Rather, I want to be coming off of screens for catch and shoot, triggering more plays and motion. But for now, it feels good. I'm not worried about being too athletic right now. I'm not where I was 3 years ago, when I was healthy and playing regularly. But I think that my mental game is a little sharper, so we'll see if I can change that up.

But I miss the adrenaline rush when you take over a game for a stretch.

Sometimes, I wonder if I'm not an adrenaline junkie.

Here's the thing. Adrenaline can be a very dangerous chemical. You can get going, play through pain, not even notice pain, and pay for it the next day. Or in my case, for the next 4 days. You get out there, you get going, and things are feeling pretty good. You've got a little hitch in your run, but you don't even notice it. You hit a couple shots, make a couple passes, grab a couple boards, and you just want to keep feeling the natural high. So you keep going. And then you get tired, but you push yourself one more game, because you think that you can keep up the high. You need to feel the rush - you don't want to go back to the real world where you're just yourself. You want to keep being this alter ego that's so much cooler, so much more than what you are during the day. It's like Clark Kent when he's Superman.

But you're not Superman. Sometimes, when you push yourself that last game, it's a character building experience, because you learn something. But sometimes, all you do is get tired, lose focus, get sloppy, and hurt yourself.

And right now, it's more about not being hurt than anything else.

-Chairman