The Best "Worst Spring Break Ever"

Okay. It's spring break. And it's snowing. And I'm not skiing and hot-tubbing in Aspen. And I have work to get done. And I'm completely unmotivated. Tack on the fact that the Illini choked away a win in the Dance, and you could say that it's the "Worst Spring Break Ever." But then, you'd be missing the big picture.

I'm coming off of one of the best 48-hour road trips of all time, where unlike the Illini, I am arriving back in Champaign victorious and triumphant. And unlike most NBA teams, we were able to dominate in back-to-back road games. Some highlights of the trip include:

-Finally experiencing the 20 oz. ribeye at The Beef House
-Being accused of scripting material in Indy
-Solving the "Prisoner's Dilemma" in Indy
-High speed number closing on the freeway
-Being called out by Miss Mona Lisa at the Holiday Inn in L'Ville
-Shaking our Laffy Taffy and otherwise owning McDonald's in L'Ville
-Dancing around landmines in Fuglyville
-Drawing straws for the wingman role
-Learning what "Five Ways to Sunday" really means
-Discovering the L'Ville strain of the Kentucky Horse Virus
-Finding out what they don't show you in the Study Abroad brochures
-Putting on a fashion show and number closing at the Polo outlet store
-Taking over the rest of the outlet mall just for kicks
-Scheduling a club outing at McKinley for mandatory testing
-Beta testing club reading and training exercises

For the rest of spring break, we do have quite a bit planned. Naturally, there's research to be done. But the latest research project could be key in my future research. Let's just say that it involves the latest in online social networking, some creativity, a little scientific method, and some extensive field testing. In the meantime, I think that we've actually got some time to mourn the Illini loss, get some research done, get some work in at practice, and start planning our next away game.

-Chairman