Monkey Business

Take a look at this article about how awesome pets can be. In fact, primates seem to make great pets, as evidenced by Marcel in Friends. And since we all take life lessons from sit-coms, we should all get a primate. Particularly, ones that can learn combat skills.

The body of a man wearing a yellow hat was found early on Sunday morning. Curiously, the police have no suspects at this time.

My take? I blame the Hollywood lifestyle. Some chimp makes a commercial, and then the stardom gets to their head. Of course, it could have been worse. There always a chance that the chimp could have returned fire.

You talkin' to me? Well, I'm the only one here.

Of course, my first thought is to wonder what PETA has to say about this.

Let's not give Mike Vick any ideas for a new hobby.

After all, cute, cuddly animals have rights, too.

-Chairman