I'm Supposed to be Smart, or Something...

I was just thinking about things like my future, how I live up to expectations, and what I want to be when I grow up, and how money fits into all of this.

Right now, I am a 2nd year PhD student here in the middle of Illinois, studying Marketing in the business college. I work quite a bit, since I still have classes to go along with my research. My income is low 20's, I drive a 10 year old Altima, and I share an apartment with a roommate. I more or less tithe, as I'm able to contribute to non-for-profits, but I'm not sure if I really make a difference with that money. I don't really know how everything works. But I don't really feel particularly brilliant, nor do I feel particularly wealthy. And that's good, because I'm not, and I'm not.

I like how I live. It's simple. My biggest splurge is eating out. I have nice clothes, but I'm not too worried about spending money on that. My car is beat up, but it drives fine, so I'm cool with that. I don't have a ton of other bills to worry about. I don't get to save a whole lot, but I do save some money. I've got a growing Roth IRA portfolio, which provides a nice security blanket. I honestly think that I could be happy living like this for a while.

And then I think about the future.

The U.S. census suggests that around 1% of the people in this country have a doctorate. That should mean that I'm smart. I've also heard that the average starting salary for a professor in marketing is something like $120,000. Yikes. That would make me rich, or something. I thinks that this means that I'm supposed to become particularly smart and particularly wealthy.

Looking around, it seems that business professors drive pretty nice cars. Lots of SUV's and BMW's and other acronymed vehicles. Those would seem to cost more than my Altima. Professors seem to travel to a lot of nice places. And it seems that professors have to live in nice houses or condos. And I think that they tend to live with themselves, unless they're married. I have a hard time seeing myself being able to contribute anything close to a true tithe with that income, as I'm having a hard time seeing the value of it now, much less at a price point 5.5x higher than it currently is. I think that prospect of wealth is working together with the prospect of making me more cynical.

The other thing that worries me is the lifestyle. Professors are always working. Breaks in class aren't time to relax, but rather a good time to get research done. Weekends don't really exist. They are also very "lone wolf-ish." You do your research. Other people do their research. Sometimes the goals intersect, but often, they don't. I've heard that it's a lonely life. It also sounds exhausting. I think that I can do it for a while. And knowing me, I'll try to do things my way. Maybe I can pull it off. Maybe I can't.

I almost wish that things could just stay this way. Minus the classes. And with a little more money. And a nicer car. And... well, maybe I don't wish that things could stay this way.

Beats me.

-Chairman